''Nightmare''
I needed a job, so my mother referred me to a man they called ''Big Tony''. He was the manager and owner of the largest hotel in the world wouldn't ya know it. My mother told me she and Tony had a history and so getting a job there should be no problem. I made my way to the hotel, which was easy enough to find as it stuck out of the skyline like an errect penis. It was huge, making it's way up into the clouds, and from the entrance, you were too close to see the top of it. I stepped in the hotel and asked the lady at the front desk where I could find Big Tony. ''Where else but the penthouse suite?'' she said. I made my way toward the elevator.
''You ever been on one of those kid?''
''It's just an elevator.''
''Ok then, enjoy the ride''
I stepped inside and pressed the ''P'' button and the door began to close. The lady at the front desk flashed me a smile and winked. I stood, patiently waiting for it to start. It was a tiny elevator. It was about the same size as an average closet and it only had one light from above. It felt like a coffin. I noticed that behind me, there were handles on the ground. I wondered what they were for.
There came a great humming noise from beneath my feet and the elevator began to creak and moan loudly. Then, without warning, it shot upwards and I was thrown to the ground, I lay on my back, my stomach feeling heavy, watching the lights as the elevator ascended. Floor one, two, three, five, eight, twelve, seventeen! I was plastered to the ground, and the small elevator was screeching and banging it's way up the center of the building. I watched the floors again and noticed how far I still had to go, floor 999, the penthouse. I had begun to calm myself a bit, now believing that this was simply how the elevator worked, and I was in no danger. My heart still pounded away however and I was trying hard not to piss my pants. That's when the wall behind me started to slide away, leaving a thick glass window to look out of. The shaking had stopped and the feeling in my stomach subsided and I figured we must have stopped accelerating. The view was amazing. Support beams wizzed by the window every quarter second and the city sprawled out below me, tiny buildings lit by tiny orange lights.
I looked back at the lights inside the elevator and realized that I was almost at the top. I peered back out of the window and watched as we entered the clouds, no more buildings visible, no more ground, just a stretch of beautiful clouds, alomst too dark to see. The wooden door began sliding back over the window and the last thing I saw outside was the elevator passing the top of the clounds, lit red by the city below.
The rumbling began again the I began to feel light, too light, like a feather, I sat down immediatly and grabbed the handles on the floor. I returned to my normal weight, and the doors clanked open. I got to my feet and walked out, proud that I had survived. I looked about and noticed I was in a large kitchen. Everywhere I looked, people my age where set to prepare meals, and I had noticed the one dressed in all black, he seemed to be of some importance although just a teenager himself. I wandered the kitchen giving instruction and praise, and every once in a while taking over to show the young chef's how it was done.
He saw me standing by the entrance to the elevator and came over immediatly. ''Hello'' he said, quite simply.
'' Hey.. umm, I'm looking for someone they call.. Big Tony?''
'' Sure, sure, I'll go get him.''
The boy did a pirouhette and shouted, ''Here I am!''
I stood for a moment, not sure how to handle his joke.
'' Really though, I'm Big Tony, your mom used to baby-sit me.''
''Oh... Excellent, so, I heard you might have a job for me.''
''You betcha, come with me.'' He made his way toward the kitchen and I followed close behind, not wanting to get in anybody's way as they prepared meals for the guests of the hotel.
''So, how does one so young, become so succesful?'' He turned his head slightly and replied,
''Honesty, honesty, and more honesty.''
''Really?''
'' Ya, and honeslty kid? You're cramping my style.'' I stopped following him and stood in the middle of the kitchen, confused.
''LURCH!'' He screamed.
I looked all around me and from behind me, I noticed a giant boy. Perhaps eight feet tall, walking toward me and cracking his knuckles. He seemed as wide as he was tall, a human wall. A human wall who looked like he was about to enjoy very much, eating me alive with his huge drooling mouth. His hair was long and unruly, and his lips looked intensly red, as if they were covered with spit. His eyebrow's stuck out past his nose and his face seemed to be covered in dirt, except his cherry red lips, which he kept popping back into his mouth and his black pants which seemed slightly tight. The other boys had stopped cooking and now just watched. Lurch was slowly making his way toward me. I panicked and backed away, looking for something to defend myself with. A knife! It's a kitchen you fool! I grabbed the nearest knife and examined it. It was heavy and the cutting edge was slightly rounded. A perfect chef's knife. I held it in front of me and swipped back and forth, in some feeble attempt at scaring Lurch away.
Big Tony had taken his perch on some small scaffolding above the kitchen and sat with his face on his hands, as if bored by the whole thing. Lurch looked into my eyes and grunted as he swipped a knife from one of the working tables. It was huge. A beast of a knife, It's cutting edge was straight and the blade was thick, perfect for tearing through me in one good chop. I felt as though I might soil myself. Most of the other boys had cleared the kitchen, but some had just stopped and watched. There was no way I was going to fight him and win. He was too big, his skin too thick. He was slow however. Maybe I could make my way back to the elevator. No, it was blocked off. I was angry now. Not just because I was about to be chopped to death, but because I had been promised a job. I yelled. I didn't manage to make any words, I just screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed at Lurch, who smiled and screamed back. A few of the boys who had stayed in the kitchen laughed at this. Well... I figured I was going to die at some point today, so I might as well stretch it out. I ran, not at Lurch, but at one of the boys closest to me who had laughed. He had been making a face at one of the other boys, so he hadn't noticed me, until I had jumped over his stove, he turned to run and I threw the knife at him. It planted itself awkwardly into his leg. Not a perfect throw, but I was surprised I hadn't missed or gotten him with the handle. He fell down, mostly out of shock I had guessed, which gave me enough time to catch up to him. Lurch was still lumbering toward me, and I felt I had quite enough time to deal with the boy before he caught up.
As hard as I could, I kicked. My foot made brilliant contact with the boy's face. He screamed, as he rolled over onto his back, I could see why, his eyeball was sitting beside him in a mess of blood. He covered his eye and just kept on screaming. Feeling awfully mean at this time, given my circumstances, I thought it would be best if he didn't keep his other eye. I pulled the knife out of his leg and chopped at his face, splitting his eye and the bridge of his nose. Blood. Blood. Blood. He screamed, and made gurggling noises as he choked on the blood that ran into his mouth and down his throat.
Lurch. He still lumbered after me through the great kitchen, and I realized I could avoid him as long as I needed to. A quick 20 seconds of running warrented me almost a minute to spare before having to move again. I was free to move about the kitchen as long as I kept and eye on him. Most of the other boys had fled the kitchen after seeing what had happened to the laughing chef. I wandered around the kitchen, still not looking forward to my iminnent death by giant. I looked around for anything I might be able to use. Knives, there were plenty of knives to be found. I pocketed a few small ones and grabbed ahold of a massive long knife, the size of a tiny sword. It was like a machete, but the lower half was serrated. I was sure I wouldn't be able to fight Lurch; he was just too big. I looked around at the boys, many laughing at me. This can't turn out well.
I began turning on all of the burners to high. Many still had food on them and I took special notice of the soups. I darted from one end of the kitchen to the other, and I wondered where in God's name they found Lurch. He was huge yes, but stupid beyond a doubt. He never tried to corner me, and most often, he would take the same route that I had taken to follow me. Although, then again, he might have just realized how futile it was to run. Perhaps he just enjoyed seeing me run like a mouse through a maze with nowhere to go. And I really did have nowhere to go. I was trapped, the kitchen was big, but it was completely sealed. I had no idea what to do. I could make a run at Lurch and try to take him down, but I don't much like the taste of a cleaver making it's way through my face.
I scrambled around, knocking over pot's of soup and throwing food at the floor. I emtied whole bottles of oil all over the kitchen, with no real strategic intent, other than to pass the time and hope that Lurch might slip and break his spine on something. Unlikely. I peered out of the corner of my eye at Big Tony. Big fucking Tony. He was in the same position as before, but with tears running down his face. What the fuck was this? I looked around, trying to find a way to get to the scaffolding. I scanned the whole room and saw a single black chain, dangling in a the corner of the kitchen, which felt a bit like a colleseum. Me, a warrior slave, with just a knife, fighting a lion, or some other manner of great beast. I wished I was fighting a lion as I looked at Lurch, still steadily following me. I ran toward the chain and pushed a chair up underneath it, the boys looked uneasy. The chain was a bit out of reach and I had to jump for it, I was only able to grab the very end of it. I gripped it tightly with my finger tips and began thinking it was no use holding on. The I reminded myself that Lurch had a meat cleaver with my name on it. I scrambled up the chain and pulled myself to the scaffolding. Big Tony took notice and began rushing away from me toward a black door. It was too late, he had gotten inside what ever room it was and locked himself in. I raged. I slammed into the door. I was just a wooden plywood door. I slammed into it continuesly, feeling it give in, just a bit more each time. Finally I threw myself at it and burst through the door onto the ground. Fat tony had apparently been waiting for this so he kicked blindly and caught me in the back. I got to my feet quickly and pulled out a small knife. Big Tony was of course, (as his name implied) bigger than me, but I was sure if I could get the knife close enough, say, close enough to shear his face off, then I might be able to win this fight at least. The room was small, cramped. Tony looked at me, tears still running down his face.
''I can let you go you know, I can just let you go, no question's asked.''
''I suppose you could. Why are you doing this anyway?''
''It's buisness, buisness of the heart. You could never understand my love..." He trailed off, looking into the distance for a moment.
''You're an asshole.''
''A rich asshole.''
''A dead asshole.'' I was a bit dissapointed for using such an easy line, but at the time, I felt entirely badass. I lunged at him and stabbed him in the hand, he had covered his face. I kept stabbing at him, slashing his arms to bits, kicking and stabbing. I kicked him onto the ground. There was alot of blood. Blood blood blood. Blood blood blood. A voice kept repeating it in my head. His blood blood blood. He looked up at me and said, ''It's not too late, I can still just let you go, if you kill me, Lurch will tear you apart, you need me alive!''
I kicked him in the head and continued stabbing him. Both of us were covered in his blood. I circled around behind him. Blood, blood, blood. I was furious. I pulled up on his long hair, and with the tiny knife, began sawing through his neck and pulling up on his hair. Blood blood blood. Blood spilled out of him and his face went limp. My hands were soaked. I hoisted his head onto my shoulder and walked over the broken door and out onto the scaffolding.
''Holy Shit!'' screamed one of the young chef's. Holy shit seemed to be a common sentiment and soon most of them were shouting similar exclamations. I tossed the head down from the scaffold and it landed in front of Lurch with a crack. He bent down and picked it up. He looked at the face with fondness and lifted the head close to his own. He opened his mouth and bit down on tony's lip, completely severing it from his face. Lurch looked at the severed head as he chewed the lip, rolling it around in his mouth, before swallowing.
Holy shit my head screamed. Holy shit screamed the head's of every chef in the room. I let myself down of the scaffoding and decided I should try to get rid of Lurch, or at least, as much of Lurch as possible before he ate the lips off of my face. I looked for a bottle of oil. I was going to try the old ''Enders Game'' trick and lube myself up before combat. I stripped naked and dumped the whole bottle of rapeseed oil over myself. Lurch took no notice and began making his way toward me, down the center of the kitchen. I picked up two long thin knife's and stood naked staring into Lurch's stupid eyes. I had my plan. I started toward him slowly, then gaining speed I positioned the knives in my hands. There were no sounds in the kitchen except for my slapping footsteps, and Lurch's slow sqeaky movements. I sprinted toward him and he braced himself like a line backer waiting to take someone down. I held my breath, took aim and let my feet slip out from under me, and crashing down on my back, I slide beneath Lurch and stretched out my arms. Both of the knives sunk to the hilt into his crotch and I was stopped abruptly, swinging up like a pendulum. A dead moan errupted from him and I pulled the knives out and scrambled from behind him. He turned and I could see that his black pants were glistening with blood. He turned slowly, his back arched, his face contorted and crying. Now! I ran at him and plunged both knives into either eye. His eyes were pinned shut, each knife going through the eyelid before sinking into his eye. More moaning as spit ran from his mouth like a fountain, I watched as he tried to force his eyelids open, the blades of the knife easily slicing through them. He straightened and began thrashing about feeling his way around the kitchen. I was glad I had taken the time to turn on the burners. He stummbled about, his great hands landing on burners and crashing into pot's of soup and oil.
I looked around for a weapon. I spotted another machete knife. This one entirely serrated. That'll do. Lurch was moaning and tending to his hands as I rushed up behind him and took a great swing an his head. The knife tore through skin and left a great dangling bit off the back of his head, his white skull shining through before blood red replaced the white of his bone. Blood blood blood. Blood blood blood. Pigs and blood blood blood.
I kept swinging, everytime knocking off large pieces of his thick hide. He thrashed and moaned and bled. Two knives still planted into his eyes, blood still pouring from his groin. I chopped him to pieces before he finally hit the ground, still thrashing, but unable to get up. Poor guy I thought. The chef's bordered the kitchen and most of them had made their way down the elevator. I left Lurch on the ground and made my way to the elevator, still naked. The chef's spread. About five remained in the kitchen. I got to the elevator and noticed that to get down, one needed a code. I looked in the direction of the chef's and told one of them to come over and help me get down. A smaller one rushed over, apologetically, and punched in the code. As soon as he was done I planted a small knife in his leg and stepped into the elevator. The last noise I heard before the doors closed was Lurch's deep wimpering, followed by the cries of the pained young chef.
I stood in the elevator and waited for it to begin it's frighteningly fast descent. It never did. The light inside turned off and a red emergency light turned on. Bastards, they were going to lock me in here. I looked at myself in the mirror to the left of me and noticed just how covered in blood I was. The red light from the emergency light made my whole body glow with the coating of blood. I began panicking and thrashing inside of the elvator. The walls suddenly turned to paper and I broke through, crashing face first into my back yard. I looked around, wondering how I had gotten there. My mother stood behind me where the elevator should have been, holding Tony's head and telling me that he too would have to wear his brother's skin. Blood blood blood. Skin, blood, pigs. I woke up in a sweat. I still don't have a job. Alas, alas, alas.
1 comment:
i just read the last couple blog posts - i don't think i've shuddered so much in my entire life. cudos.
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